DirkBaby Dave
by TotallyCapriciousFaygoFag
Summary: Dirk is trying to make ends meet while taking care of his little brother.
1. Chapter 1

_Dirk/Baby Dave_

You couldn't do this; you didn't know how to take care of a baby. This wasn't fucking fair. What the hell were you supposed to do with a crying baby?

"Come on little man. Stop all that noise."

You awkwardly picked the little rascal up and began to rock him gently. He didn't stop, he kept screaming, what did he want from you! You were just a kid yourself, you were supposed to be in school or finding a job or whatever normal teenagers did. Instead you were cooped up at home with this annoying little runt.

"Come on Dave, Chill out little man"

You cooed softly. You snatched a bottle of baby formula from the kitchen counter before plopping down on the couch. Dave screamed, his small round face turned a deep shade of red as he shut his blue eyes tight and scrunched up his nose in anger.

"You're gonna turn blue if you don't knock it off!"

You yelled shoving the bottle in his mouth.

He stopped his screams. Thank God. You watched as he drank heavily from the bottle and began to relax. That was it? He was just hungry?

You shook your head and rolled your eyes behind your pointed shades. You were beyond annoyed, but you were kind of relieved, at least there was nothing seriously wrong with him. You pulled the bottle away from Dave when he was finished; he gave a small yawn before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. You relaxed into the couch and tilted your head back. This kid hadn't let you sleep in four days, it was finally time to count some sheep and catch some Z's.

Sleep came to you relatively fast. You dreamt of becoming a famous DJ, making sick beats on your turn tables, and becoming known worldwide. Everyone loved you and loved your music, you were a star, the best of the best, but then it all faded. You slowly opened your eyes, reality hitting you instantly, you weren't a professional DJ, and you certainly weren't known worldwide, you were just a kid taking care of his little brother in a run-down apartment. You looked down at Dave who was already wide awake.

How long had you been asleep for?

You thought quietly to yourself, you were pretty sure you had been asleep for about an hour or two, maybe more? You didn't know. It looked pretty dark outside, you were just so tired.

"Bo"

You jumped a bit before looking down at Dave. He raised his hands and clenched them open and closed (Grabby hands).

"hm?"

You hummed softly before taking off your glasses and handing them to him. You gave a small smile as you watched him teeth on the edge of them.

"You can't possibly be hungry again"

You raised an eyebrow. You were running low on baby formula. It would probably be a good idea to buy some more, but you were running low on cash as well. You sighed softly, even if you got a job you probably wouldn't get paid enough to make ends meet. Not only that, but who would watch Dave?

Jake was on another one of his stupid 'adventures', Jane was at some kind of cooking competition and wouldn't be back for a week, and there was no way in hell you were going to leave Dave with Roxy!

The kid could come back addicted to alcohol or something. You looked down at Dave and smiled. He had finished teething on your glasses and had dropped them somewhere on the floor.

"why do you have to be so much trouble?"

Dave let out a small squeal before giggling.

"Hm? Something funny? Come on, lets hear it. What's so funny? I could use a good laugh to"

You tickled Dave and watched as he squirmed and smiled.

You would figure out a way to make ends meet somehow, you had to, for Dave.

"Alright squirt bath time"

You smiled at the frown you received from the little guy. He was never thrilled about having a bath. Maybe it was because the first time you tried to wash his hair you ended up getting soap in his eyes. That was totally your bad. You felt really bad afterwards, honest you did.

"Oh come on, I promise I won't get soap in your eyes this time"

You gave him a reassuring smile before standing up and stretching your back. You flipped Dave around so that his stomach was pressed against your chest. He instinctively grasped onto the top of your shirt and stared up at you confused as to why you had switched his comfy position.

You gently kissed his forehead as if apologizing, his expression changed to one of confusion to one of happy.

"Alright little man, are we having bubbles or no bubbles in our bath?"

"Bo"

"Yea I like bubbles too. Bubbles are pretty cool"

You smiled. Once in the bathroom you placed Dave on the floor and turned on the water. You weren't a baby specialist or whatever, but you were pretty sure that babies around Dave's age were supposed to be crawling by now. You stared at Dave who laid on his stomach staring up at you.

"So are you gonna crawl first or walk? Crawling is a lot easier man. You should try it sometime"

You sighed before pouring in the bubbles.

"Bo"

You looked over at Dave who was trying to push himself across the bathroom floor.

You shook your head.

"Nope dude, that's now how you do it. You gotta use your knees and hands"

"Bo"

Dave continued to slide himself across the floor on his stomach.

"Nah man that aint it"

You laughed softly before picking Dave up, taking off his red footy Pajamas, and putting him in the warm water. He wiggled around a bit adjusting to the temperature change before deciding he liked it. He giggled as he splashed around and smacked some of the bubbles out of the tub.

"I'm gonna have to clean that up aren't I?"

You sighed. You would add that to your list of things to do.

You knelt down beside the tub and began running a soft sponge over Dave's shoulders and then his tummy.

"Bo! Bo!"

"What's up?"

You stared at Dave as he splashed around, you gave a small smile and laughed softly.

"Splash Splash Splash havein a blast, Dave's having fun in his bubbly bath he's playing with ducks and making them quack as I throw down sick rhymes while I do my rap, we're getting squeaky clean right down to our toes as Dave sticks the bubbles on his itty bitty nose. Dave likes the bubbles they're pretty sublime we always have fun when it's bath time"

Dave giggled and reached out for you.

"You're my best audience little man"

You smiled as you picked him up and wrapped a towel around him.

"Alright tv time"

You patted Dave's back before laying him down on the couch and going to your room to grab another pair of footy pajamas for the little guy.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you returned to the living room and stared at the couch.

Where the hell had Dave gone?

"Dave?!"

"Bo"

You quickly ran to the other side of the couch and let out a sigh of relief.

You knelt down and watched as Dave slowly crawled over to you. You smiled proudly.

"good job man"

You picked Dave up before throwing him up in the air and catching him.

Dave squealed and kicked his legs back and forth in delight.

"Maybe soon you'll be walking"

Dave yawned in reply.

"guess all that crawling tuckered you out huh?"

Dave yawned again.

You pulled him close to your chest before sitting on the couch and turning on the small tv that sat in the middle of the room.

"hm. Wheel of Fortune, Cooking show, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, or Crime Time?"

You looked down at Dave who was already fast asleep.

You turned your attention back to the tv and decided to go with Animal Planet.

Three female lions appeared on the screen, their cubs hid in the long green grass behind them. The female lions were looking for their prey. Watching the show kind of reminded you of you and Dave.

You were like a female lion ready to defend your cub if need be. Dave was your cub, and you would do whatever you had to do to protect him.

You could feel your eyelids growing heavy. Without waking Dave you readjusted yourself so that you were laying down on the couch with Dave on your stomach.

You rubbed Dave's back soothingly before closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep.

**Chapter 2 Coming Soon! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

A couple of years have gone by, you had managed to keep the apartment and also managed to keep food on the table and Dave clothed. By no means was it easy, but you managed and that was all that mattered. Your little brother was now 5, you were a bit surprised, I mean it seemed like just yesterday he was pushing himself against the floor and making those weird baby noises that you could hardly make out. Anyways enough of that, you really don't feel like crying over how fast your baby bro was growing…again.

Tonight was the night he would be spending the night over at his friend's house. His first sleepover. You could tell he was a little apprehensive about it. So were you. Dave wasn't really use to being away from you, especially over night. He could never really sleep without you, in fact he had climbed into bed with you a lot lately, and you only recently got him to start sleeping in his own bed.

You looked down at Dave who was slumped down in his car seat starring back at you with the same look on his face that you probably had on yours.

"It's going to be alright, I mean uhh…John seems like a nice kid yea?"

Dave nodded slowly and looked out the window. You sighed softly and turned back around, pulling up to the house you noticed it was quite large and kind of vintage looking. It made your apartment look like shit…well your apartment was shit…but whatever. You helped Dave out of his Car seat and handed him his small Batman backpack stuffed with his clothes, a tooth brush, and an old teddy bear that was given to you when you were a kid. He never slept without it, you had tried taking it away a few times, just to see what his response would be, the little guy cried for hours until you gave it back. Needless to say you wouldn't so much as touch that bear again if it meant upsetting Dave.

You placed a hand on Dave's shoulder and led him up the steps where a man in a stupid white suit and the ugliest looking fedora you had ever seen waited. He put his pipe away seeing Dave and gave you a small but gentle smile that made the muscles in your stomach twist and cramp. Dave seemed to sense how uncomfortable you were and looked up at you curiously. You cleared your throat and picked Dave up protectively. You didn't really like the idea of the little man sleeping over at this guy's house...especially since he was your…boss.

"Well hello there Dirk"

He grinned his fucking perfect white teeth showing and everything. You muttered a small hello and stared him down. This was a bad idea…very bad…for all you knew he could be some kind of child predator…sure he was your boss and everything, but that didn't mean you talked to him. In fact you never talked to him ever…if anything you did your best to avoid him. He creeped you out, especially since somehow he seemed to know everything about everyone. You were convinced he was some kind of secret spy that worked for the government.

He probably had an assortment of deadly weapons hidden in the house. All it would take was one flick of a light switch and then BOOM! weapons galore. You had been watching too many James Bond movies…you needed to stop…but they were just so good you couldn't help yourself.

"Who is this little fellow?"

He turned his attention to Dave who clutched onto your shirt nervously. You nudged him with your head, trying to get him to say something, but you knew him too well, he wasn't going to talk unless he really wanted to say something, and now was not one of those times. You sighed in defeat.

"His name is Dave, uhh..I packed some clothes and stuff for him. They're all in his bag so he shouldn't need anything. He'll pretty much eat anything so you don't have to stress over what to feed him. He doesn't have any allergies. He has a slight case of asthma so his inhaler is in the front pocket of his bag. He'll probably fall asleep around 8 or 9 so be prepared to carry him to bed around those times…he sleeps like a rock"

To your surprise the man in white listened attentively to your every word. In comforted you in some way, knowing that he was taking all that you said very seriously. You turned you attention behind the man hearing the small pitter patter of footsteps. A boy about Dave's age with the same color hair as his father and almost the same eye color popped his head out from behind his father's leg and grinned at Dave revealing just how badly his need for some braces…or even retainers was. You so badly wanted to give him the nickname Beaver or Rabbit something stupid like that.

Dave slowly wiggled out of your arms and waved back at you before starting to head inside.

"Hey punk you forgot something"

You rolled your eyes behind your shades and knelt down. Dave rushed back over to you and hugged you before giving you a kiss on the cheek and then disappearing in the large house that was Mr. Egbert's.

"You're good with him"

You stood back up and looked at the man before shrugging.

"I wouldn't say that. It's not that hard to take care of him. If anything he puts up with me..I kind of feel like I'm the kid"

"…You are a kid Dirk…how old are you again?"

Why did that even matter? It was none of his business. You were really tired of people looking down on you because of how young you were. People could just fuck off! You were supporting Dave with what little money you had, and you managed to keep him well fed and alive, so you really didn't see what the big deal was.

"I'm twenty-two"

You mumbled softly before turning around and heading down the front steps.

"I admire you; I don't think I could have raised John at such a young age like you're doing. From what I can see you're really working hard and..uhh..I just thought I could help you out from time to time"

You slowly turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, I would like to give you a raise and even help you out with Dave..I could help you out with school and the bills and stuff if you wish"

You weren't really sure what to say, god knows you needed the money, but why the hell was Egbert willing to help you out? He hadn't really shown an interest in you before.

"Thanks, but I think I can manage"

Damn your pride.

"There must be something I can do. I just feel bad knowing I could help, but not doing anything about it"

"…You think I'm incapable of taking care of Dave on my own? You're looking down on me.."

You voice was cold and probably came out more annoyed than you had intended it to.

"No No! that's not it at all-"

Mr. Egbert rushed over to you placing a hand on your shoulder and looking down at you with his pale blue eyes.

"I'm not looking down at you at all. Like I said before..I really do admire you. I just want to help is all. You're a kid Dirk. I'm sure with Dave around you haven't had much time to go and enjoy yourself. I'm sure you wish you could go out and see the city or even find a nice girl and take her out somewhere whatever kids do these days"

"I'm gay"

You answer stubbornly.

Egbert let out an exasperated sigh.

"Dirk, you need time to be a kid. You're not going to be young forever…you need to enjoy yourself a bit"

He was right, but you just couldn't do that. Dave was growing so fast…every time you took your eyes away from him for what seemed like a few seconds he seemed as if he was growing. It was all happening too fast for your liking. Way to fast. Dave was with you 24/7 all day every day. You just couldn't comprehend that one day he would be gone. Time was slipping away from you.

Before you knew it he would be off to college and then maybe he would start a family of his own. You needed to spend as much time as you could with Dave before that happened.

"Dirk? Are you alright?"

You looked up at Egbert, you had been so deep in your own thoughts you just kind of…lost it.

"I'm fine, thanks for your offer but-"

"Dirk Strider you stubborn ass, I will not take no for an answer! Fridays and Saturdays Dave is to come over here and hangout with John, you WILL go have some fun and relax"

He looked at you sternly and you knew right then that there was no way you could argue yourself out of this one.

~ Hey guys I'm back! Sorry I've been gone for so long been busy with school and stuff, but now that Summer is here I have more time to write and update! ~


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